I truly care about people in general,
even
the ones I am not a
huge fan of. I feel that I am sometimes too honest and am afraid that I
am either hurting someone's feelings or that I am not filtering out
enough of my awkwardness. I know I will be successful in life and I
will be wealthy at some point. I am afraid of failure. I have a
difficult time remembering names or what I did yesterday or even 3
hours ago but I remember ridiculous insignificant things from 10 years
ago. I pretty much hate all of today's music and now know what it's
like to feel old and uncool at the same time. I miss music when guys
didn't wear skinny jeans and rappers didn't wear bling. I often feel
like I am not good enough. I get that from my mom. I never knew that it
was possible to love someone so much until I met my daughter. I hate
that I don't have as many friends as I did when I was younger. All my
close friends are far away and scattered all over the world. Having a
baby puts a damper on your social life. Until very recently I was
putting the toilet seat liners in public restrooms on backwards. I hate
living in Myrtle Beach but don't really want to live anywhere else. San
Diego is too expensive, Florida is too humid, the northeast is too
cold, the northwest is too rainy, the southwest is too dry, Matt is
wanted in Texas... lol jk, and I don't want to live anywhere that is
not close to the ocean. I hate the fact that there are people that
think they are better than everyone else. The world would be better if
everyone accepted each other for who they are. I hate stereotypes,
prejudice, racism, and discrimination with a passion even though
everyone at some point, including myself, has been guilty of the first
two. I wish it wasn't weird to talk to old friends that you lost
contact with for a long time like you did when you used to hangout.
Needles don't bother me at all thanks to the Army. The only time I ever
loved the way I looked was when I was deployed to Kuwait. I won't buy
off brands. Not even food. As a kid, my mom could only afford to buy us
no name clothes and it scarred me for life. I know, it's ridiculous. My
favorite ice cream is Baskin Robbins Mango Tango and is only sold in
the middle east. Boooo. I love Mexican candy even though it is kinda
scary. I love romantic comedies and cult classics. I have been biting
my nails for over 20 years. I used to wish I was Asian when I was in
middle school. I went to a school in San Diego that was mostly Asian
and I didn't fit in but tried really hard and got made fun of instead.
I hope Lyla is happy with who she is and never feels like she needs to
be like someone else. I have a crush on Anderson Cooper, the silver
fox. Yes, I know he is gay. I can't relax. I have never been close to
my family, especially the extended part and I hate that. I admire
families that are close and that are totally comfortable with each
other.
